Well, the fucking election happened, didn’t it?
Since November, I have made some major fucking changes, and I am becoming way the fuck less apologetic about how I’m living my life.
- I got my first-ever pap smear.
- I am now on anti-depressants!
- That also means I am not drinking
- Not drinking means I am binge eating less
- And I am also saving money
- So I am losing weight
- So I have to start buying some new clothes with my saved money
And the cycle goes on.
Winter has been atypically brutal (relatively) for us in the PNW, so I am really craving some springtime. It snowed today (what even, it’s MARCH), and my bus was losing traction, but I’m still looking ahead to a month or so from now when I’ve really got the garden going.
First of all, I had to clear all the dead plants off my porch and get the pots ready to accept seedlings whenever it stops being fucking winter. I did that yesterday, as well as getting some seed starters, some seeds, and some plant food. One thing I am SUPER EXCITED about is that I am going to try growing ground cherries. They look like cherry tomatoes and tomatillos had a baby and it tastes like fruit? I’ve never eaten them. I’m gonna grow as many as I can.
Nala helped inspect my work as I enjoyed a clean balcony and read some Judy Blume. I’m also reading every day, and that is giving me both some time away from the fucking tv and my fucking phone, so I’m sleeping better, and books from the library are cheap.
Cuz they’re free.
Do I have to spell it out?
(to old Kelzor, yeah, probably)
The anti-depressants are good because I also am keeping my house a bit cleaner and am engaging in fewer (though not ZERO) negative impulse-driven behaviors. In addition to the near-cessation of binge eating, I’m also shopping less as a whole, and I’m mostly sticking to my budget better. Recently I’ve started eating lunch out a lot more at work, and I’m really going to try to back off on that. It’s a process.
So, with all of that, I feel like it’s time to start doing good things and memorializing it in some way. So I think the blog is back?
Get ready for more cat pics, soccer pics, garden picks, f-bombs, food pics, proud-of-my-clean-house pics, and then maybe some more f-bombs.
I’m just so done with trying to be something I’m not. I thought I was before, but I was still buying into a lot of bad habits and self-talk because I cared so much what other people thought. I care about it to some degree (in the sense that I don’t want to get fired from work or disowned from my family), but I’m not going to spend my free time doing shit I don’t want to do, with people I don’t want to be around, anymore.
And, I finally understand how annoying drunk people are. Sorry I *was* one for like ten years.
It’s happening. Life is happening. Thanks, Wellbutrin.